In the memories of my late aunt….

November 15, 2005 at 11:09 pm | Posted in My Life | Leave a comment

I think I should blog something about her, for me as a rememberance and preserve this memories in somewhere more ‘private’ I guess.

Mdm. Cheng Soo Lan (钟素兰 女士)was my father’s eldest sister in the family. She is responsible to take care of lots of things at very young age.
My grandmother passed away when my father was 7, so my aunt take over my grandmother’s place to take care of my father and their brothers.

After my grandfather passed away 20 years ago, she’s the eldest in the family. Because of this, my aunt was well-respected by my father’s family.

Among myself and my sisters, my 2nd sis LH was the closest to my aunt. My parents were busy working that time, so my aunt help them to take care of my sis LH for some time in Penang(father was from Penang). She brought my sis go for shop almost everyday when my sis is still with her.

Actually 3 of us respected her very well. She also helped other ppl to take care of their child, a nanny.
I can remember 2 of them, Leng and Siang. Being a kid, I use to play with them.
I still remember Leng’s house was just beside my aunt’s house, I had to climb up a stairs to get into the house. Leng was 1 years elder than my sis LH if not mistaken.
Siang was a year younger than me, but he’s a bully and always make me cry(yea I admit it).
No matter how, we all love to be with my aunt because she’s just like another mother of us.

That was about 10 years ago when my aunt move to KL with her sons. They live in Selayang, not so far from where I live. We often visit her that time.
Because my aunt’s sons(consider my cousins, but waaaay elder than myself) wanted my aunt to enjoy life better, so they move to Rawang in a bigger banglow.

Although the new house at Rawang is far away from my house, but we still visit her sometimes but not so frequent.
Sadly, my aunt’s husband passed away 3 years ago. Since myself arent so close with him, so….. I didnt feel sad or any feeling that time. My aunt is just calm, this is what I can remember. I’ve forgotten because of what reason we didnt attend the funeral.

After my sisters left Malaysia to study in China, we seldom visit my aunt then. Anyhow, we still visit her place during Chinese New Year.

This year, my aunt went to hospital to do medical checkup. She discovered that she had cancer, which part I’m not very sure. My mother helped my aunt to arrange treatments and medications. She undergoes chemotherapy, and became very weak then.

Months ago, we’ve got the news that the cancer cell had spreaded to other body parts. One of her left finger was amputated because the cancer cell had destroy the finger structure, and also to prevent the cancer cell from spreading elsewhere.
In the mean time, my mother asked my sisters to message or call my aunt to keep in touch.

During my sisters’ summer holiday in July, they came back. We had a big family dinner together. That time, she’s still ok but doesnt look so good though.

During the last few months, aunt was having difficulty in breathing. We suspect that there’s some prob with her lung, although doctor couldnt check anything wrong.

Last week, she was discharged from hospital. The situation is getting worse…. the doctor predicted she couldnt make it so far….

I still visit her when she was in hospital, and she changed alot when she discharged back home, is like become another person. Sigh…. it’s so sad that she’d become so thin and no energy.
I cried at that night, knowing that her time left not much, and my sisters miss her so much.

Elder sis LY asked me print few photos, and a message for her, while LH sent a letter for her.

Last Sunday, 13th Nov, my aunt passed away peacefully at 10am. I only able to visit her at night because father’s working. Well….. it’s so sad that see her placed inside the coffin…
I planned to goto Melaka on Tuesday, but have to cancel it to attend aunt’s funeral.


For these past few days I kept visit her house. I’m heart-broken to see someone I respected gone forever. My mother says it’s a relief for her from her suffering.
That night, I hardly able to sleep. I think I only fall asleep at 4.15am, and then wake up at 6.10am.
Suprisingly, today I didnt feel tired.

Around 8.30am, there’s a music band plays the funeral march. Music really has the effect to alter one’s emotion, many visitors broke into tears when listening to the sad music, including myself.

I tried to control myself stop crying, but when think about my sisters’ reaction in China, I just felt sad and sorry for them. I went there to pay the last respect on behalf my sisters, so it’s like having ‘extra’ sadness to cope with the situation.

Aunt’s body were taken to Petaling Jaya Crematorium to be cremated. We follow the bus to the crematorium to pay the last respect.
You see, I’ve tried to control myself from crying but when think about my sisters, I just couldnt stop it.

The saddest part of the entire ceremony, was the time my aunt’s coffin are placed into the furnace, seperated from us forever and ever……..



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