November 9, 2005 at 11:30 pm | Posted in Ideas & Thoughts, My Life | Leave a comment

Cry, is an expression to relief our sadness, dissapointment, or anger.

Personally, I hate to cry. Why? The reason can be funny. When I cry I tend to get a serious head-ache.

I used to be a cry-baby when I was in primary school. Almost everyday, I cry just to fight or argue with my sis. Childish, but that’s what I am at that age.

When I become more mature, I rarely cry. Even though I’ve attended two relative’s funeral, but I didnt cry. Maybe, is because I’m not so close with them.

The last time I cry, was the end of last year. I was attending a motivation-type course. One of the climax of the course is to make you realise the importance of parents. I cried, the motivator’s words are really heart-breaking. I try to stop but I just cant, my mind couldnt control my action.

Yeah… I tried to stop crying immediately, perhaps to act cool huh? But after crying, there’s marks on your face shows you’ve been crying. Red-eye, choking voice, running-nose….

Few days ago, I went to my relative’s house to visit my paternal aunt, who’re suffering from 3rd stage cancer. I’ve visited her few times when she was in hospital, she’s still ok at that time.

She’s very very weak and ill, hardly can speaks. Everyone was heart-broken when saw her in this situation. Having difficulty in breathing, hardly can move by herself.

Because there’s many other relatives(adults) around, so I make my move and read the book I bring along.

My sisters in China are very worried about her. My mother ask me not to tell them too much, dont want to disturb their studies. I still message them to report the latest situation. Both my siss are very close to my aunt.

After finishing my books, I pay visit to her room again. She’s pale, and softly ask me go home and rest. I went out from the room, and sit at the living room. I started to think how unfair to let her suffer like this, then started to cry.

She was the one whom helped my father and my uncle after my grandmother passed away when my father was just 7. My aunt was a very hardworking women.
She cares for anyone, and she’s generous.

As what I mentioned above, one of the funeral I attended recent years was my aunt’s husband’s funeral. Because I’m much closer to my aunt, so I have no feeling about the death of my uncle.

But now…. watching aunt suffer like this is really heart-breaking. It’s so sad, my sis are unlikely to attend her funeral…… but the clock’s ticking and the countdown almost hits zero…..

Pray hard, pray for her to get well, pray for her to stop suffering, pray for eternal peace….


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